Tuesday, 15 June 2010

This is actually working

Something weird is happening. I'm starting to feel like life is really worth living again and that there's hope for a positive future. I haven't felt like this for so long.

I'm achieving more with my days too. I'm not sure how that's happening, but I'm somehow just managing to get more done. Or maybe it's the same amount and I'm just viewing it differently. I didn't feel like my house was a tip when I went to bed last night but was satisfied with what I'd done and looking forward to the next day.

I've felt like this for a while now. I didn't mention it before because I've fully expected to crash any time. But it's lasting. It's meant a lot to me to be out of size 20; a great big psychological boost. I feel lighter when I walk now too, and there really is a spring in my step.

I think the structure I'm putting in place in my life - with the eating plan, the exercise goals etc, is reassuring and acts like a steady base from which other things can also be achieved. Without knowing it, I've needed this structure for a long time.

It'll be four weeks soon since I started this blog, and began watching what I was eating. Four weeks is the maximum time I've ever dieted in the past. Before, it's always been a 1000 cal a day diet (too little) with a loss of about a stone and half in the four weeks. Things are going to be different this time. And I don't mind that I have to stick with these rules for a good long time, or even for ever. Things are going good with these rules. I like.

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